the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
