Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
