It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
