Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
