i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
