last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
