so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
