what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
