okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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