Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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