pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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