I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
