Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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