Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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