He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
