"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
