she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
