Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
