what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i will never coherently bang her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No subtext here. People are naked.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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