Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
