there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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