how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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