I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
