okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
