everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
