I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
