that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
