don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
