Tell her she can't have a vagina
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
