Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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