Kiss
Puke
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
