READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
