i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
