summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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