will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
