no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
