ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
