i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
