i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
home. puking in laundry basket.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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