I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
