U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
