dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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