I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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