u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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