and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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