my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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