i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
