We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
