Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
