Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
