Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
